


Dangerous?

by UEvangeline



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer, Vampire Chronicles - Anne Rice
Genre: Gen, Humor, Mocking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:30:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UEvangeline/pseuds/UEvangeline
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis has just got new books and Lestat decided to read one of them. Twilight was its name. .:Warning: Twilight mocking:.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dangerous?

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on FFnet 1-9-09.
> 
> I love Twilight, okay? Don't get me wrong, it was just a bit of fun I had with Edward and Lestat.

"Louis, what is this box in the middle of our office?" Lestat asked to his dearest friend.

"Books." Louis answered with simplicity. "Modern books for our collection. David suggested that we should have a bit of this millennium in our shelves."

Lestat opened the huge box and took off the first volume he saw. _Twilight_ was its name, and reading the cover he discovered that the book was about vampires.

"Seems like we are not so out of fashion as I thought…"

"We had never been, Lestat. Why are you saying it?"

"Another novel about our kind. Written by a human."

Louis shook his shoulders, indifferent, and took his attention back to what he was previously doing; ignoring Lestat completely. Lestat sat in his favourite chair and started reading the novel in his hands.

"They are like you, _mon chér_ Louis, they like animals' blood."

Louis glanced at him, coldly. He was tired of arguing with that stupid selfish vampire named Lestat.

Again, his peace was rather short. Soon, Lestat was consumed by a laughter attack. The blond vampire was writhing, laughing uncontrollably. Scarlet tears were beginning to pour on his beautiful face.

"This is worse than that crap you call your book! My God! They sparkle! Vampires that sparkle on the sunlight! How can someone take this seriously?"

"I do not know, Lestat. All I know is that the vampire on this book is already more famous than you."

Immediately the smile was gone, along with the tears.

"I beg your pardon?"

"It is everywhere, Lestat. The _Twilight_ movie was more watched than your _Queen Of The Damned._

"Impossible. Anyone that read one of my books, even that creepy thing you wrote, would think this thing is ridiculous." It was the wounded ego talking. The great Vampire Lestat couldn't have been beaten by a vampire that sparkles. "I am the Vampire Lestat!"

Louis grabbed the television remote and put the machine in a channel which was showing a repetition of the American premiere of the _Twilight_ movie.

"Tell this for them."

Lestat's icy blue eyes fixed on the actor that passed on the red carpet and in the noisy crowd of fans, yelling desperately. Almost biggest than the crowd that used to follow him in his rock star phase.

How could it be happening at all? He was the real vampire! Lestat de Lioncourt! Beautiful and irresistible!

"That is ridiculous."

"What is the problem now, Lestat?" David's voice sounded in his supernatural ears.

"A stupid novel about vampires that sparkle. Sparkle! Under the sunlight!

David raised an eyebrow and got the book, giving it a quick read.

"We do have documents about the Cullen in the Talamasca."

"What?" Lestat yelled, furious.

"I know, Lestat. It does not make any sense, but they are real. The novel is just a novel, but some of the characters are real. And I think there was something about the sparkling."

The fury was all over the Lestat's face.

"Do the ancients know about this absurd?"

"Lestat, I am a vampire for only seventeen years. You are one for three hundred now. If anyone knows anything about ancients, it is you."

"Lestat, this that you are doing is just ridiculous." Louis said. "If they really exist, they are just a couple more damned vampires in this world. You are just angry because you are no longer the vampire in the centre of attention. Stop being so vain!"

"Louis is right, Lestat." David agreed.

Lestat gave a scornful look for both of them.

"And then talk the prudent voices of reason, to the immature, vain, proud and impulsive Lestat! _Mon Dieu_ , don't you see that I am not just that?"

David and Louis sighed.

"You know very well that you are exactly that. You just got a wounded ego because of those noisy mortals!" Louis almost yelled.

"What if is that is the reason? What can you do to stop me? I am the Vampire Lestat!"

"Don't be so unreasonable!" Davis was tired of the childish. "As you have already said a thousand times just today, you are the Vampire Lestat, nothing can erase your glow!"

Lestat grimaced and crossed his arms on his chest, undoubtedly annoyed. Vampires that sparkles! Such an absurd!

"I am going after him." He declared.

"Lestat, you're doing it again." David reprimanded. "The same thing that happened with Akasha and the body thief. Stop being so childish. Haven't you caused enough trouble for yourself already?"

Lestat smiled. In the irresistible and arrogant way that only him knew how to.

"David, eternity is too long to be spent safely."

Said that, he disappeared as if he has never been there at all.

* * *

"What's wrong, Edward?" the sweet female voice woke him from his daydream.

"Vampire's scent." He said. "Powerful blood. Stay close."

Bella sighed.

"It's time for you to turn me, don't you think?"

Edward ignored her and started looking around. He could clearly smell the scent of vampire along with human fresh blood.

"So, you are Edward Cullen?" the voice was smooth, with a French accent.

Edward immediately pushed Bella to his back and look to the vampire leaning against a light post, with crossed arms and arrogant smile.

"Yes. And who are you?" Edward grunted.

"Lestat. Lestat de Lioncourt."

Edward's eyes widened in surprise.

"Do you know him?" Bella whispered.

"He is another kind of vampire, Bella. The original one. The kind of vampire that can't go out in the sun, can fly and have a huge amount of supernatural powers."

"Exactly. I am a real vampire." Lestat mocked. "And you do not need to be so worried, I have no intention of hurting your girl. I don't hunt the mortals which are protected by another vampire."

Edward growled, angry.

" _Mon Dieu_ , I was really expecting a bit more. You are afraid of hurting your Bella because you think you are dangerous!" Lestat was astonished. "You hunt animals and think that you are dangerous! Turn her, for God sake! And unleash yourself of such horrible pain. You are really worse than Louis…"

"You can read thoughts too." Edward said.

"Oh, yes. Most of us can. And you thought you were unique… Laughable." Lestat turned to Bella: "Yes, _ma chérie_ , I can hear yours either. That is what real vampires do. You know, how can a real vampire sparkle?"

Lestat sighed and turn around, ready to go home, from where he should have never left.

"Why did you come here?" Edward asked.

Lestat chuckled.

"I came to see who you were. The most famous vampire of modernity. But, honestly, do you really consider yourself a vampire? I mean, you feed of animals, you sparkle, you cannot read this girl's thoughts. You are just another supernatural creature. You are not a vampire!"

Edward smiled. Feeling quite happy, instead of furious – that was the way Lestat believed he would be after what he said. It was good to know that a vampire like Lestat – the true evil, in Edward's eyes – consider him not to be a vampire.

Lestat rolled his eyes and left.

"My dear Louis, I am sorry for everything I done to you. You are a real vampire. As unbelievable as it sounds."


End file.
